Friday | May 04, 2007

Attacked by a gay man

Today is the worst day of my life; I guess I’m attractive to gays. Today me and Sammi were on Shi Quan Jie Sammi went off to buy a milk tea for me and herself. Suddenly out of nowhere this young Asian man appeared and stopped next to me and Said “hi” to me in the type of stereotypical voice normal reserved for gay men in comedy movies. I however ignored that and proceeded to say hi back to him because I’m a friendly person I thought maybe he just has funny pronunciation. However, the next few questions quickly changed my mind. it was when he asked me where I was from he said “so cutie where are you from” I knew for sure that he was flaming gay and since Sammi was still getting the milk tea I couldn’t run away so I replied I’m from Canada to which he responded “Oh I like Canada, because it rhymes with banana. I like bananas very much? After which he sang Canada banana banana Canada. I was seriously creeped out, and this guy kept getting closer and closer to me. Then to make things even more weird and creepy he said “Your handsome I like you, I like big foreigners very much”. At the same time as he said this he did a pelvic thrust in my direction. That was the last straw I was panicking so I looked over at Sammi telepathically telling her to hurry the fuck up or I was bolting. When the Flamer saw me staring at Sammi, he said in a disapproving tone “who’s that girl, Is she your friend or tour guide?” I was finally able to save myself by informing him that Sammi was in fact my wife. To which he responded “ Ahhhh Shucks your already taken?? I responded “yeah”.

Finally Sammi came over and saved me from the conversation so the guy said “ ok I hope to see you again privately sometime” and quickly walked away swiveling his hips. As we got back onto the bike to go back home Sammi said “I think he wanted to fuck you” “NO SHIT” was the only correct response.

Normally I have no problem with gays I completely believe that they should be entitled to the same privileges as straight people with no persecution or harassment , a few of my friends in Canada where openly gay but this guy was too much, He would have been rejected from the gay pride parade because he was too flaming

I will be avoiding Shi Quan Jie for the next 6 months and if I’m forced to go there I will carry a sign that says “PROSTITUES AND DESPERATE SINGLES FUCK OFF I’M MARRIED”

Excuse me I will go have nightmares now

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